My Year Of Everything

Not surprisingly, in “Not Buying It” Judith Levine takes American advertising culture to task for its creation and satiation of artificial needs. Point taken; it’s just one of those things that gets on your nerves and fuels the entire world’s economy. Bummer.

Ms. Levine (and everyone else who’s ever written about this subject) argues that we choose our identities from the options the advertising industry provides us, and then make purchases based on what that persona would want. True: since college, I have dressed in a style that I call “Hip Young Dean.” Tweeds, starched oxfords untucked, sweater-vests, needlepoint belts, cool sneakers- that’s what Hip Young Dean is all about. Hip Young Dean isn’t going to rat you out for having an open container in the hallway- not this time. He knows the rules and he knows when to bend them. That’s Hip Young Dean for you*.

So you can imagine my inner dance sequence upon discovering Jeremy Argyleon Spring Street. The high-quality cotton! The plaids and checks! The details around the cuffs! In a very real sense, this is what Hip Young Dean lives for. Alas, Dave Holmes is having, if not a Year Of No Shopping, at least a Few Months Of Financial Prudence While He Waits To Find Out If His Show Got Picked Up For Another Season. I pulled myself away with the screaming exertion of a movie astronaut whose airlock is open. But I’m coming back, Jeremy Argyle, and I’m bringing my identity issues with me.

* Yes, Hip Young Dean is aware that he’s 38, and that a name change is overdue. He’s working on it. Watch your mouth. You want a demerit? Because we can make that happen right now, friend.